Love has no judgment, no agenda, no bias, and no bigotry. Love is love without a concrete definition. It lets go of boundaries, walls, and inhibitions. It is effortless. In relationships it does require work, but it’s just a rhythmic dance of ease and grace. Unfortunately, when it isn’t an easy dance, the relationship ends disastrously. It’s in those moments that we ask, “What happened?”
1. They feel alone.
A woman needs to feel that she matters. If her man is not there to support her, there is no reason to continue a relationship. Women are nurturers. When in a relationship they believe that the man is their entire world. Men tend to detach quickly when they get comfortable. Sometimes in the loneliness of being with someone who is not emotionally present, the noise is deafening. A woman realizes that there is no room for the worthlessness that keeps coming up through the avoidance. When love and attention is not reciprocated, they realize they do not need to stay in that relationship.
2. They are not being acknowledged.
There is nothing more detrimental to a woman than not being fully present when she is speaking. A woman is moved by words. She needs to feel that she is understood, accepted, respected and supported. When she is sharing with her mate, it is because she needs to feel a connection with him. Chivalry is masterful. Women love the simple acts of communication and love. Taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, or anything that acknowledges presence is exceptional in a relationship. A woman will move on, while holding her heart, when she feels that she is being taken for granted.
3. They no longer feel sexy.
Men are sexual creatures. When they want sex they are ready. A woman needs intimacy, foreplay, and the feeling of being completely desired by her man. Routine is the kiss of death. A woman wants spontaneity. She craves to be romanced. Women live in their heads. Therefore, when a man is only being stimulated by porn or other women or just wants to have a release, a woman will be completely turned off. There is a moment in a woman’s life when she realizes that if her man doesn’t desire her, or makes her feel special (in and out of bed) then it’s time to move on.
Midlife hits everyone differently. Most women do not require a new car or fancy clothes. They need to know that they are sexy and wanted by their men. Menopause starts to creep into the picture, and what was once easily tolerated is no longer. Life changes: Children leave to college; a parent needs full time care; or financial stress is present. Women who overcome cancer or other illnesses also find a reset button that pushes the men out of their lives. A woman needs to know that these life changes are being navigated with strength and dignity alongside her man. When there is no support, a woman will quickly disassemble her life to get rid of her man.
5. Women don’t like someone who is predictable.
Men fall into comfortable routines. The older they get, the less they want to participate in anything that is not about them. This is also why some men go through a massive midlife crisis. But, women need serendipitous moments. They need to know that they matter. Even a small note on a coffee mug is enough to bring appreciation into a relationship. Familiarity is not something that feels good in midlife. It feels boring. To a woman, a man is not a fixture. He is a companion.
6. Their man is not physically there.
Women tolerate a lot, but having a man who cares more about being out and about is a definite “no-no!” In today’s world of feminism, a woman doesn’t need a man to take care of her. She needs a partner who will work along her side and appreciate her presence. When a man is more interested in spending time any place but next to her, she will cut him loose. It might take time, but the longer she postpones it the worst it is in the end. She knows it is over when there is nothing spiritually and intellectually available.
Women have evolved in our society. The “need” to have a man is surpassed by a “desire” to share a life with him. When there is no love, appreciation, touch, spiritual connection, intellectual stimulation, or presence, a woman will choose to be alone. Women work just as hard as men. To tolerate a companionship that is not stimulating is no longer on the agenda. It’s a reality check that it is time to move on.
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