A True Story that will bring tears to your eyes – Choose him or her everyday

I have not been too honest with myself in the past. I never fully accepted or understood, actually, the consequences that my words and actions could cause.
I was young, I had an idealistic view of life, love and my partner. I had read too many love stories and had watched a lot of movies.
I knew exactly whom I wanted, I wanted that tall, dark guy with a heart of gold and everything going for him. That is the guy any girl in her early 20’s would want… right?

To my surprise, I actually met this dream guy on 15/03/2013. Nothing was short of perfection. I met him at the park, where we both used to go running. I never thought bumping into him would change me so much.
I am sure he never thought bumping into me would change everything about him one day.
I am here today because I feel I have, unknowingly, deformed a soul in trying to make him perfect, a soul that was perfect to begin with.

Our relationship started off with crazy and funny dates. We would go around and do the most random stuff and I enjoyed it, initially. He was so spontaneous, with the way he would suddenly stop talking and stare but then he would compliment me on something he noticed. He could do so much with his words and actions to surprise me. Things started to change when I got used to the spontaneity and all the compliments.

We were such an informal couple, we would dress up to go on a date like a normal couple does but the most random food stand would take our fancy and he would take me there, I admit that it was fun. But as time went on, I started to feel like I wanted more out of the relationship. I wanted him to do stuff that all my girlfriends told me about their boyfriends. You know, the usual; a bouquet, gifts, classy dinners.

I always expected him to do that, while he picked a rock concert I secretly prayed for him to pick a cruise and a candle lit dinner. While he cooked me our Sunday morning late-breakfast, I prayed he took me out shopping instead. I prayed for all that, that wasn’t there and forgot to praise what was right there.

Often, I would feel just fine about our dates and the way we were different from the other couples but I and my relationship were soon judged and my friends would listen to my stories with those narrowed stares as if asking me, ‘are you really happy with that?’

When you start getting such stares and such judgmental comments about your relationship, it does take a toll on you. I was no angel, I wouldn’t even call myself a good, sane human being. I paid attention to stupid things and I let them affect me, in turn affecting my relationship. I could feel myself getting distant from him and he could see it too.

Soon, when I didn’t see things change, I started to become more and more vocal and expressive about it. I couldn’t help but throw a tantrum on birthdays and anniversaries when I didn’t see things the way I had heard about  from my friends. He could see I wasn’t happy. He could see I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to achieve what I thought everyone else had achieved and I didn’t.

I wanted to settle for mediocrity when I had something that was so much more. I started to feel I wasn’t worthy enough of all the things that my friends were experiencing and I started to doubt his love. Why wouldn’t he do all that fancy stuff for me? Did I not deserve it?
Why is it that we always weigh our relationships on the bases of the standards society has set? Why have we formed these moulds of Ken dolls and we try and fit every man we date into that! Someone is always going to be too little of that and too much of this. We forget to embrace them and appreciate them for the things that make them better than others, even better than these moulds, thinking they are imperfections. I thought that way, and I would do anything to change that now.

People are special, they are different but they all eventually are perfect in their own ways. They will serve and fulfil your every need, in the way you want them to or another but they will. You just need to have faith and look harder.
After many fights, and arguments, I saw him change. Every argument that disclosed every expectation I had of him, he changed a bit. Bit by bit he changed a lot, I changed him a lot and soon he was a completely different person.

I earned the bouquets, lost that sparkle in his eyes. I earned those dinners, but saw he had lost his appetite.
I earned those well-dressed and well-mannered double dates, but lost those wide smiles that I saw every time we had an adventure. All the things that I thought I was earning were actually the things that were making me lose more things that were important and precious.
I should have treasured what mattered more, HIM!